Child free weekend away, does Joy look relaxed?

Holy Bible Mosaic

OK so yesterday,which just happens to be our 20th Wedding Anniversary, I received a parcel, contents, a Bible! well I do own a few bibles so why do I want another one?

This is the latest product for me to review on the Tyndale Blog Reviewers Network and its called the 'Holy Bible Mosaic' Its no ordinary bible, this one included study material at the beginning it is designed to study the bible in one of 3 ways

Liturgically, following the Church calendar

Thematically, following set themes

what they refer to as Organically, using your existing method of study, notes or whatever reading plan you follow, but referring to the additional material where its referred to.

Unlike some study/devotional type bibles this one does not include the study material within the bible text, the study material is all at the beginning of the book followed by the actual bible text.

The study material in this bible is taken from Christianity across a broad spectrum of tradition, culture and generations, they boast that you will see Jesus revealed in every continent and every age, well that's a really big boast it will be interesting to see if it lives up to its boast!

Initial impressions are good so we will have to see when I have had the chance to read and use it a bit more.

As a non-conformist I am not really familiar with the liturgical calendar, until reading the preface to this bible I didnt even understand what it was all about, still don't really but have a little more idea! But I am looking forward to taking a fresh look at things by studying through in a liturgical style.

This book review is obviously very different to the regular reviews, for a start I have a deadline to get my blog post, with final review, up, 16th November is when my review has to go up, because it is part of a blog tour.

secondly, there is no way I can have read the whole thing by the time this review is due so it will be an overview of my impressions thus far.

and thirdly, it is very difficult to critique the actual text of the bible, especially as the translation used, the New Living Translation, happens to be my favourite translation anyhow!

but the 4th reason, and this might excite you, I have been given a gift certificate to give away in a competition on my blog, the competition will take place on the 16th November and one lucky contributor to my blog on that date will win themselves a copy of this wonderful bible need to review it in the way that I have had to.

So, if you are interested in winning a copy of this bible come back here on 16th November and see how you can do just that, alternatively, if you cant wait that long, there are other blog reviewers running competitions on their blogs, with 1 bible being given away every day from now until the 30th November.

To see details of the blog tour and where to go to find out more and try winning yourself a copy of the mosaic bible go to their website here where you can view a sample of the material.

New Blog Site

This is just a quick post to let you know that I have moved/am moving my blog to my own hosted server, for a variety of reasons.

To access future posts you will need to look there, at the moment the web address for this is www.cavanagh.cc/drc 

I have imported all the current posts from this blog into the new one so there is nothing (other than this post) found here that you cant find at the new location.

I look forward to your continued support over on my new site, I hope that you find it more useful and informative as well as having a much better appearance, also you will notice that Joy has now been added as an author on the new blog, I am trying to encourage her to join with me and start blogging.

Any comments, thoughts and suggestions on the new look blog would be gratefully appreciated.

Regards,

David

book Review: Hearing Jesus Speak into your sorrow

I recently came across the concept of Book Review Bloggers, this is a deal between blog writers and book publishers whereby the publisher sends the blogger a copy of a book that I read and then I write a review and post it on my blog, this seems like a fair deal to me so I decided to sign up to a couple such publishers, this is the first review for one of those publishers.

Title: Hearing Jesus Speak Into Your Sorrow

Author: Nancy Guthrie

Publisher: Tyndale

ISBN: 978-1-4143-2548-4

When I chose to receive this book to review I choose it because the write-up suggested that this was not simply a ‘nice book’ that would seek to placate the reader or give the reader ‘nice’ verses to hold onto or the cliché lines I have come to know over the past few years but would instead turn to the depths of scripture and seek to provide honest real answers to honest real thoughts, emotions and problems. Just goes to prove the old saying ‘you can’t judge a book by its cover’ is still true.

I was really disappointed when I opened the package and saw the book as, based purely from the cover, it looked like it was just going to be full of sickly verses and clichés, just what I didn’t wanted! However that disappointment didn’t last for long as I got stuck into the content of the book it touched base with me at many levels.

This book is written for those who have been through, or are going through, tough times in their lives and who need to hear Jesus speak into their situation, Guthrie is a woman who has experienced tragedy and sorrow in her own life, this tragedy and sorrow has caused her to turn to the scriptures and dig deep to find meaning in the situations she has faced.

Having lost 2 children to a rare genetic condition, both less than 2 years old, she has experienced some of the most difficult pain any mother, or father, could imagine, yet she has come out of it with a stronger and more balanced faith than ever, what could so easily have crushed her faith has enabled her faith to grown and blossom.

I read this book at a time when I was going through, just coming out of, a very severe bout of depression, one which was just about as serious and deep as it gets and almost cost me my life.

Reading this book has not been easy, there have been times when I have felt that God was piercing my heart with some of the truths revealed in this book but I believe that the perspective this book has given me has played at least a small part in helping bring me out of depression, re-focusing my minds and giving me new perspective, in ways that I had not expected.

Because of my depression, my concentration span has not been great recently however I have not found this to be an issue with this book, it is the kind of book best read slowly, a chapter or 2 at a time, to allow the truths to sink in and each chapter stands on its own so there is no loss of thread to contend with.

This book is written from a very deep and theological perspective and yet I feel can be read by anyone as it touches the reader on many different levels, as I went through the book there were a number of theological issues it raised in my own mind and yet at this stage I felt unable to delve deeper into these matters but not delving did not in any way detract from the book, at some stage I will go back over the book and pick up on these themes at a much deeper level.

Guthrie turns to the words of Jesus to seek answers to the big questions raised in her own life, questions that I have no doubt are common for anyone who has suffered loss or pain, but she does not turn to the scriptures that you might expect, she finds her source of encouragement and comfort in scriptures which you might least expect but expounds them very well and brings her depth of theological knowledge to these scriptures to really give the reader something to think about.

At the conclusion to each chapter there was a ‘letter’ written as if from God to the reader, this ‘letter’ is a paraphrase of several (mainly well known) bible verses put together in a highly readable format, this could have ventured on the cliché and well meaning words of comfort and indeed still could do (in my opinion) if taken out of the context of the preceding chapter, however I felt that she walked the balance here just right.

I for one want to thank Guthrie for writing this book and Tyndale for giving me the privilege of reviewing it (not the kind of book I would normally have picked up, especially from the cover) as it has impacted my life.

I will conclude this review with one paragraph from the very end of this book ‘In the midst of your heartache, Jesus will hold you in his arms, he will teach you, and he will speak into your sorrow. Hear his promise to be there in the days ahead to help shoulder the load of sorrow in your heart’ it is my belief that this book will enable you to realise those words in your life.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has know what it is to suffer, to experience deep sorrow to suffer pain and loss, if you are seeking answers to the difficult questions in your life this book will not answer them all but it will point you in the right direction and enable you to change your perspective and your thinking in those areas.

David Cavanagh

Book Review Blogger for Tyndale Publishers.

Mother Issues!

This is a copy of a post I have posted elsewhere but felt there was a relevance to it being here, please forgive the lack of personalisation in it but I don’t have the energy and patience to go through re-wording and personalising this item. I am interested in any comments that you might have on this post.

I have said in the past that my blog posts are a little like busses, none for ages and then loads at once, well I have not written much for ages but feel that there are a few blog posts coming for one or other of my blogs.

So, where to start, well a good place to start is with my mother! Always a topic to get me wound up.

I will input into this post some stuff I chatted over with my counsellor today about this subject, spent my whole session chatting round issues related to my mother.

OK so a few weeks ago my niece was staying with my mother, my niece is 15 and it was a surprise that she had wanted to spend some time with my mother, as they have never really got on together, mind you my mother doesn’t really get on with anyone.

We felt a little sorry for my niece so decided that we would invite them both to join us on an afternoon at a local country park, our son was in respite so it was only our daughter with us, my mother was her usual self, very self centred and whenever the conversation went to discussing anything other than her, e.g. when I asked my niece how school was going etc, she rapidly brought the subject back to herself, this happened several times.

Anyhow, whilst there, our daughter wet herself, as you will be aware she has learning difficulties and, at the age of 8, can still be a little unreliable with her toileting, but usually pretty reliable, my wife got on and change her and I alerted members of staff who cleared up the mess, with no fuss or problems. No more was mentioned and we didn’t think it was a big deal.

Right, now fast forward a couple of weeks to Saturday just gone, I had a phone call from my mother asking if I could check her oil and water on her car as she is due to go away shortly, during this conversation she asked whether I had heard from my sister, which I hadn’t, she then went on to say that she had fallen out with her, why? Because my niece has decided that she wants to change her name from her birth fathers surname to my sisters maiden name, you will need to read this carefully to follow it all, my sister is a divorcee, her ex, my nieces father, was abusive to the kids, and continues to be (verbally primarily) so there are good reasons why my niece might want to have little to do with him, my sister being a divorcee has taken her maiden name back, this is the name she acquired through her father, my step father, although I use this surname simply because its what everyone knew me as all my life, anyhow, my mother and step father split up about 22 years ago when he had an affair with a younger woman, he now lives somewhere abroad, America or Australia, with his second wife and their 2 children.

OK so my mother was upset that my niece has decided to take his surname because of the hurt he has caused her, now the only hurt he has caused my mother is to have an affair with someone, I do not mean to belittle this BUT it happens all the time! In-fact I have a suspicion, although my mother would deny it, that her relationship with my step father started as her having an affair with him whilst still with my birth father.

So, again considering the fact that my niece has suffered at the hands of her father I can understand why she might want to take the surname that her mother is currently using. Anyhow, my reaction to my mother was pretty swift and unusually assertive with her, she usually makes me feel like that little boy again and I find it difficult to be so assertive, but anyhow I simply told her that it was a silly thing to fall out over and my niece has the right to make this decision herself! My mother was hurt by this but I stood my ground and she swiftly turned the subject back to her car, I said I would get back in touch, but was already not very keen on doing anything for her.

Anyhow, I then rang my sister to discuss with her, I have found it pays to get her story ready for my next encounter with my mother. And had an enlightening discussion. Yes my niece did want to change her name and yes my sister had told my mother this was her decision and hers alone, so my mother put the phone down on her!

Ok so the relevance of the wetting incident? Simply that my sister, informed me that my niece really didn’t enjoy staying with my mother, surprise, surprise, but mainly because my mother was so critical of so many people, including apparently telling my niece that my daughter wetting herself was embarrassing! As was the fact that my daughter is so clearly over weight! Now this just about shows the level of my mothers selfishness ignorance and arrogance and made me see red! After all the times we have gone out of our way to take my mother out and al the hours spent with her saying how ‘lovely’ & how ‘sweet’ our daughter is and all the time she was embarrassed by things like that! Yes our daughter does have a weight issue and she does have bladder (and bowel) control problems, but that’s all part of the disability, as our niece pointed out but my mother apparently dismissed it and said it had nothing to do with it! Presumably she blames the parents!

So now I was faced with a real dilemma, do I go and sort my mothers car out or do I throw my dummy out of the pram and refuse? And if I do go, do I mention the matter or not?

Well, for the sake of good relations I choose to go, although we made pretty sure we didn’t have to spend long there, went on the way back from being out and had some dinner in the oven! So the kids and my wife stayed in the car as I sorted her car out, I also choose not to raise the subject although would have had a thing or 2 to say if she had mentioned anything along those lines!

Basically I am at the point where I am considering severing ties with my own mother because her attitude is totally unacceptable, we have chosen to give life and opportunities to 2 children with special needs and they do NOT need this kind of attitude from their own grandmother.

This raises again the whole, honouring your parents issue, which would be easy to do if she were keeping the commandments too as she wouldn’t be so awkward and difficult to be honouring to.

Anyhow, in chatting with my counsellor today we discussed some of the issues and reasons why I find it difficult to tackle issues directly with my mother, on this occasion it wasn’t that I found it difficult to tackle it I deliberately chose not to raise the issue myself but generally I always feel as though she turns me into a little child again, primarily because she has always, for as long as I can remember belittled me and run me down, she has always treated my views and opinions as if they don’t count and actually she pays very little attention to anything that I, or my sister say, as if our views are unimportant, also through my childhood she has pretty much made me feel as a small child, not allowed to have a view or opinion of myself, I have to listen to what my parents say as they are always right!

Another part of this is the whole honouring issue, how can you disagree with your parents and still honour them? Well I have good cause to disagree with my mother, she is so often wrong, and bigoted and ignorant and doesn’t listen to another persons opinion or point of view! But that doesn’t mean I don’t honour her, and respect her, as another human being that is! As my mother, no, all she did was to give birth to me and accommodate me for a few years, she has never earned the right to be honoured as my mother.

Anyhow, some of you might think that I am being rather harsh on her, well if that’s you feel free to contact me and you can take her as your mother! Lets see how long you survive!

Basically my mother falls out regularly with all sorts of people, for all sorts of silly reasons, this issue with my sister is just the latest (that I know of) in a long line of issues over which she falls out with people.

At the moment she is away on holiday (kind of!) with her sister but she has regularly fallen out with her too, my mum has said several times that her sister ‘always has to be right, she can’t accept that she is ever wrong’ sounds familiar to me!

Another example of how awkward and stubborn my mother can be is also connected to names, my sister has chosen, since leaving home, to be known by her middle name rather than her first name, I have to say I can’t blame her because in my view her middle name is much nicer, this again is a decision that she is entitled, as an adult, to make, its all part of her stamping her own identity and personality on her life but my mother refuses to refer to her by her middle name, this leads to a lot of confusion especially when my mum was living not far from my sister, everyone there knew my sister by her middle name so got pretty confused when my mum called her by her first name, changing your preferred name in this way, either using your middle name or abbreviating your name or taking on a nick name etc is pretty common place in society, but my mum just wants her little girl to shrink away and conform to her mums standards and expectations. In fact I think I am going to make a conscious decision to call my sister by her preferred name, at least when addressing her in person even if my mother is around, regardless of the consequences because this is what my sister WANTS! And she is old enough to make this decision, it might be difficult for a while as I am so used to her being called, and me calling her, by her first name.

Anyhow, at this point in time I am having to make a conscious decision that I will NOT be sucked into my mothers games and manipulation that I WILL NOT allow her to control me or to turn me into that little child that I will act as the adult and address the issues in an adult and grown up way, without loosing my temper and without allowing myself to be turned into the little child again, regardless of how she reacts, even to the point where I can make the conscious decision to NOT tackle an issue if I feel it would not be constructive, or would even be detrimental to do some but this would be a decision would be a conscious decision made in my adult self rather than one made because I have become the weak child that she wants me to become.

Fortunately for us we have always made a point of refusing to allow my mother to have any stronghold over us in the form of having given ups money to help us out, there have been times that she has offered to help us financially with some significant expenditure, most recently the cost of re-wiring the house, but we have always turned down these offers because we do not want to allow her to be able to use this against us. A good policy and one my sister wishes she had adopted but she has taken money from my mother at various times and always regrets it.

Anyhow, I do feel that, in the right time and in the right way I need to tackle some of this stuff directly with my mother, addressing her general attitude towards other people and telling her that her attitude is only going to result in her being very lonely into her old age, certainly myself and my sister feel that we are reaching the end of what we can tolerate from her. But also addressing directly her attitudes and prejudices about our children, telling her that if she is that embarrassed by our kids then she best not come out with us! But timing and wording will be crucial, I need to ensure that my attitude and actions are from right motives and done in a right way but also being prepared to accept that this MAY result in the severing of relationships, for at least a time, depending on her response, this is obviously not an issue I can tackle with the kids present either, so wisdom beyond wisdom is needed to know how best to tackle this.

I think that’s about all I need to say on this, the post is a lot longer than I expected but that’s not unusual, as I said at the beginning there may well be a couple of others to follow this if I can get my head round it all.

Breakfast, all eaten and on way home!